Saturday, 6 January 2018

She's my Girlfriend - Her Breathe Stinks Like a Public Toilet. What Do I do?


What more can make life disgusting than having a girlfriend with bad breath? Oh lawd have your way!
Just like that one time drama when i met this Orente (short and gorgeous lady) at ICM, Ikeja. i couldn't hold back the vibe pushing me to meet her.
'Hey beautiful'
I said with full confidence. like that guy that advertised for NIVEA roll-on...

She took a few step forward, stopped and  stared back
, her hair dancing in the air as she turned to find where the sweet auto voice came from (you've seen it in all these indian films naa).. First, she scanned me from head to toe (i knew she was searching for the compliment to add behind her response.. (i always know)) then she said;
 'Hello Prince charming'
Her compliment was'nt shocking cos' it was expected (me seff na fine boy abeg) but something was shocking and it hit me.. I had to fight every urge not to stagger backwards. She's got this terrible smell, showering directly from her mouth, it was so bad that at the moment, i could bet her saliver will kill all the rats in Lagos if licensed as the new rat poison.. Trust me, with her breath, na good market!

Mouth odour, This tragedy has consequently been the reason behind 60% broken relationships according to world statistics.
Many would advise you break up especially if you are the type of boyfriend that doesn't know how to keep your relationship issues within yourself. A few will sentiment you talk it through with her! Can you do that ? Hell NO!

These "special advisers" will start the counsel with their usual lame paradox:

"He who loves you tells you your mouth smell"

Guy if you try this with a Nigerian girl, your own don done be that! You've just submitted your official break up letter without knowing it.

The only time this makes sense is when the breath got sour along/between the relationship. You know very well she doesn't have it from the start. It just developed all of a sudden. That's still safe. You can easily talk it through jokingly or whatever style you prefer.

Though, the bad breathe is easy to fix, talking the solution is not. Not all girlfriends are understanding. Some might feel embarrassed, insulted, shy; they would probably isolate from you after the confession. Its heart break for some especially if you guys just started the chemistry.

"I love this girl.. I love her so much Buh I can't just help it.. I’ve been offering the gum and the mints, you know, like a hint, but it’s not working. At first, it was a little gross, still bearable, but now it’s overpowering. It’s so disgusting that I don’t feel like kissing her anymore" such a sad story. isn't it? Ouch I could cry.

So much love for the girl with latrine breath but what can the righteous do?...Break-up? No!! Please don't! Just chill! not like she's carrying HIV. It's just HALITOSIS.

HALITOSIS is a complication that resulted from poor brushing and flossing (the primary reason), dry mouth or gum disease leftovers stuck in between gums are the subordinates.

If you really love her (I know you do.. That's why you're still reading.. Lol) take your time, compute a standard research, study the disease, then muster up some courage and have a talk:


1. Create a romantic atmosphere.
probably, Serve up some snacks at home when it’s just the two of you.

2.After snack time, say, “[call her the name that makes her heart melt when you say it], I think food is getting caught between your teeth, and it smells kinda weird.”

3.Suggest a quick tooth brushing session: “Time to brush.” (wear a sweet smile to head on)

4.Afterwards, kiss girlfriend and say, “Ahh, so much better. I love that minty feeling.”

5.WITH A SOFT SMILE, add, “Every once in a while, I think I can tell what you’ve had for lunch. I’ll let you know if it gets a little intense.”
6.Change subject. Immediately!

A normal girl with working brain in her skull will definitely know something is wrong somewhere. She will start asking her friends, google, breathe on her palm, and start making steps.

P.S: You can also help; just burst her mind with a surprise package and tag a short note.

"Hello bea, I just got the mouth wash.. It's really amazing. Really working wonders. Thought you'd like it too. I have one for myself. I don't want you to come and finish my own when you come around on weekends to see the big guy in my panties.. Lol" Try it.. Sure you will love it!

I made that up. You are a guy, wise up and be the best man for your lady. Be innovative jhoor!




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