Friday, 27 April 2018

How to Break It Up Without Hurting.


What's the best way to break up with someone you "love" ?


There isn't.
It's just that simple. There's no easy way through it. No matter how soft and smooth you want it to go, you will still break something. Possibly damn a soul. That's the catch.




What's the best way to break up with someone you "don't love"?


If you don't love, you are simply not breaking anything. You're just walking out of something that's been clingy on your life unnecessarily. But, for the record- this still can suck. Infact can be super messy. cause' in your head you might be thinking you ain't breaking anything not considering the other end (upcoming Ex) might have something tender n fragile you might eventually super-ds'  (damage, destroy, demolish, destruct) cos he/she love you endlessly.



Breaking up with someone when the feeling is "mutual"

This is so so sweet. You don't need much sweat for it. No arrangement or rehearse for ditty poems. Just call it off. Anyhow; Blow, Kick, Stab, Hang, Smash..Anyhow! Anywhere! Nothing is breaking and nothing has to break, you should obviously not expect any cry or over-conc. emotional wreck. Just a sigh... A feeling of relief "Finally... I'm free" cos its hurray for both parties.
It's just disappointing that such break ups don't get to have the "happily ever after" thing. Y'll might hate each other afterwards. Please who cares? I'm done and free. That's all that matters.


Okay, I think we are quite done with "who deserve what and the intensiveness of break up " part of the story.


Now can we talk about the koko;

"breaking it up and not letting it hurt"..

Concisely, in person, and with no ambiguity. This is so not me - The easy breaking thing is so not my style but for the fact that I care about you the tender heart, I just had to pull this off for you cause' I know you need it.
I know this is some kind of big dilemma for you, it's very normal. Esp. when you've spent so much time with the person and that makes you feel attached to the person. but it won't be for them, it will just be like a usual embarrassing grade in a maths test and they'd be like Shit happens! or it'd  probably seem like a horrible car crash from the moment it starts until they're over you - Both, depending on how you approach the situation.
So, I intentionally put this together - my 4- Super Methods to break it up all off and still do Netflix and chills together in future. These are just the perfect ointment to knead the hearty damage.

Attention Please:

Firstly, make sure feelings are not attached. Don't pity what their life will become when you leave and ignore your want and need for a better relationship. Remember the need for the slash, those experience you ain't cool with, those missing values, remember the essence of happiness in your life, Remember the importance of a responsible partner in your life and take the decision (if you see it necessary) cos the world has gone beyond killing yourself to satisfy somebody when there's The Infinity War and Rampage to die for.
Here we go:

Concisely:


It's a painful, awkward, crappy moment. Don't take your time, don't worry about telling them everything you think and feel. All that really matters is how they feels. Now, they're going to need a reason, and its going to be credible and consistent with why you're breaking up with someone. Whatever your actual reason is, you need to explain it with this in mind; This is just my opinion, but I would never tell someone that I found someone else even if that were true, unless the truth of it were unavoidable. That's just about one of the most painful things to hear. And I've found that's mostly not true anyway. People don't find other people, they look for other people. Those are the reasons its ending.


In person:


if you try to do this over the phone or through DM or something the other person is just going to embark on a quest to see you as quickly as possible. The same feeling of dread that made you want to do this over text to begin with is going to haunt you to go to the ends of the earth to avoid seeing her, and that may or may not even be possible. I've seen this charade a hundred times and its horrible and pathetic but can be easily avoided. Stand in front of them and look them in the face when you do this. Rehearse it before hand so you can get it right.


No Ambiguity.

You're not going to be friends after, not if you care about how quickly your upcoming ex (or you) recovers from this. You're not going to go in for break-up sex. You need to tell her it's over, talk about logistics (maybe some clothes, personal belongings need to be exchanged) and leave. I once planned this so she was with her friends at the time so when she went back in they were able to comfort her. That doesn't always work smooth if she's the one with the crazy Lagos girlfriends. But I make sure not to leave questions. Straight and edgy is the arrow. It might feels heartless but it actually for the best cos clingy won't really help in the long run. Best way is to take charge and make it quick and clear that we were breaking up andwere no longer dating in any capacity, and that yoi aren't going to be seeing each other socially at all. Done. If she calls because she forgot she needs something or whatever, great, i handle it.

No self pity.


Also, you are not actually making him happy. No one can make them (Ex) happy but themselves nor are you keeping them alive. No one can make them believe life is worth living except themselves. If you are all the companionship and support they had, it's because they'd decided not to have other companionship and support. So not only are not obligated to sacrifice your own happiness for your partners happiness, you can't sacrifice your happiness for his happiness. It's not possible.



End- 

If you can't give this person what they want, or they don't give you what you need, you need to break up with them now because that is the most generous thing you can do for them.

Help them now by letting them go to regroup and figure out who they can be and who they want to be with.  Don't string them along for the sake of sympathy.  Sympathy makes for a horrible relationship.




This is obviously the time for nice-nice cute-cute. Enjoy all the fun while it last but guess what, the day for cruel-cruel make-the-playboy-cry is almost here. Just chill for it.
Watch out for BEST WAY TO MAKE THE PLAYBOY PAY. the post is dropping like a rocket soon.. You can subscribe to our news letter to grab it as hot as it drops... CLICK HERE
"Break up and not bet hurt.

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